The job of being a stay-at-home mom is a daunting prospect once the baby arrives and you realize how crazy life can really be. This website contains some things I’ve learned along the way to help you organize all the different aspects of your job and make the most out of your time. Remember, I’m no expert… I had a baby 10 short months ago (as I write this) and learned this stuff along the way. Feel free to send me your tips and suggestions, I’d love to hear them. With all that in mind, here are some rules for maintaining sanity, before you go on to the other content on this site:
1. You are a mom first, so have fun with your kid. If he (btw, I’ll always write “he” since I have a son, no offense, it’s just easier that way) needs help or wants to play a game, stop what you are doing and sit down for a few minutes… chores will always be there to do, but babies grow up. If you spend quality time with your baby, he will grow more and more independent and be able to play for longer and longer times on his own while you work. If he gets fussy, stop working and try again later. Save special time each day just for him, to go for a walk, play outside or build a pile of pillows to roll around in.
2. Do as many household chores as you can while your baby is awake. Have toys or other activities available in each area of your house to occupy baby while you work. Very often, he will be content to watch or explore nearby. Let him follow you around the house and open up cabinets (containing safe objects of course), play with the dustbuster, or watch you from the stroller while you work in the driveway. Babies need to learn everything about how the world works and how to entertain themselves, so don’t feel that you need to engage him every moment. Remember that to him, seeing the water run in the sink or tub is fascinating stuff. Stacking up boxes of soap a thrill. Crawling in a pile of laundry practically spelunking! While you work you can tell him what you are doing, name objects for him, show him what happens when you squeeze the sponge or turn off the light switch. When he’s busy playing by himself, narrate to him what he’s doing… “oh you found your ball!”, “can you put the ball in the basket?” Or just leave him be content to explore and play. Finally, while you are doing all this, don’t stress if he makes a mess by taking everything out of a drawer or cabinet. As long as its safe, let him do it. The goal is to have a clean house… not necessarily a non-messy house.
3. Use nap time wisely! Now is the time to do the things that are impossible to do while baby is awake, either because it is too dangerous, too dirty, or it is too hard for you to effectively keep an eye on baby. For example, I use nap time for cleaning out the cat box, doing anything on the computer, cleaning the shower, carrying heavy loads up the stairs, etc. If you have your chores done you can also use this time to nap yourself, spend time on your hobbies or other things.
4. After major fallbacks, press the reset button and prioritize your catch up work. In other words, take one day to have a reverse tornado clean and get things semi back to normal (that does NOT mean do serious deep cleaning over the whole house!). Simply watch the clock and get as much done as possible in the time you’ve set for yourself. Then the next day, you can restart your regular schedule OR you can switch your days around a bit to prioritize whatever parts of the house are particularly in need of rescue.
5. Finally, the most important rule! Cut yourself a break and lower your standards! Now is the time to play with your baby and teach him about the world and everything in it… so plan playdates, take music or swim classes, or go to the park. Make these activities a priority over cleaning your house. The chore schedule I came up with is for days you are already home most of the day and have time. If you miss a day or can’t complete the list for that day, don’t add the chores to the next day. Just skip it and try to plan activities for the next week on a different day. If you are able to deep clean each area of your house twice a month you are really doing great and as time passes, your house will get easier and easier to clean! Who cares if your house is messy anyway? Anyone with kids will understand and if you keep up with cleaning on a day to day basis it will be much easier to buckle down and get the whole house clean for those times it really matters (like when the inlaws are visiting!). Do you really want to be the mom that follows your kids around the house every day nagging at them to pick up as soon as they are done playing? NO! So play first, play while you work, and do the serious work on the side for a few years. You’ll have to time for a ultra-clean house and missing your kids later.
